I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
