did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
from now on my penis is your penis
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
