are you so shy because you have an std?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
