I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
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Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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