also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
