Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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