Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
