so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
