OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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