This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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