if i can run in heels then i can drive
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
