Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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