Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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