Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
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I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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