I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
