she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
