You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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