I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
