So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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