He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
