wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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