Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
