I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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