I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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