Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
