It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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