Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a search helicopter?!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
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Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
how does that bad decision feel?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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