if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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