Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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