Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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