Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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