thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
