Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
