The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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