Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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