It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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