i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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