I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
