YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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