There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
