Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
