We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
