Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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