I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
