I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
