Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
