i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
