For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
