so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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