I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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