She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
