when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
