i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
