i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
