Your mouth is God's brothel.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Watching her eat just hurts me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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