Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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