I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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