you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
