you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
