There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
