When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize