You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
