so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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