Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
