Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
