He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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